Faith in Faith...

"Nobody dies a virgin,Life fucks you all"

Till last year,She was just a normal 21 Yr old girl.Someone who excelled in academics,was really ambitious,who had a lot of dreams she wanted to fulfill ,a lot she wanted to achieve.And though she exactly wasnt always happy ,but neither was she sad.She was content with what life had to offer to her.But little did she know she had hardly seen anything of this "life" now.She was yet to meet life.Meet it in the most tragic way one can ever imagine.Actually,from what it was, it should be called beyond imagination.

And one day life hit her.And it her really really hard.So hard that she couldnt even come to terms with what had happened with her .She couldnt believe it could happen to someone like her,or for that matter someone at all.It was too devastating for her to just accept the truth.And once she did accept the truth it was impossible for her to move on. How could she?She was all of 21 yrs.She was supposed to be having fun with friends,talking about guys,dating them ,shopping ,freaking out.She wasnt supposed to cry every single day from the loss she had had.It was too much for an extra loving an extra sensitive soul like her to bear.She cried and cried and cried.The tears never seemed to stop. How she wished she could go back to the past and change things.But she couldnt.She had to accept things as they were .Accept it as a part of her destiny.

She was loosing herself,giving in to life.And then she decided no,she couldnt do that.She was not going to give in to life so easily.She was a survivor and she was going to make it.She had to.For herself.And at that moment she knew how she was going to make it.By having faith in faith.By believing in God.By believing there was a reason he was doing this to her.By believing better things awaited.By believing she could get over the tough times if she left evrything to him.And that she did.He was going to show her the way ,carry her through.She kept patience.And she thought though whatever has happened could never be undone ,but she could deal with it in a better way.

At a time in life life when she could have driven herself insane,given herself away ,she got up ,gathered all her strength and decided she wasnt going to yield in and that she wasnt going to curse her destiny for what had happened.She was going to move on.

And she still does that everyday of her life.From coming to terms with all that happend to finally not letting the tears fall further ,takes away all her strength.And she asks god to give her more strength.And He does.

Yes, I have fought with life so hard and for so long that it has almost become a habit.The last yr changed me as a person .I could have filled myself with negative thoughts and questions like why would god do this to someone like me.But instead of that I moulded myself in the most positive way I could.I told myself worse could have happened.Even though god has taken away a lot, I am happy for what I have today.Who knows I might not even have this tommorrow.

I tell myself god did this to me because he knew I had the srength to deal with it.But god,there r times when that strength goes away too.When I break down completely .When I get sick and tired of fighing life evreyday.When all I wish is that I had a gaurdian angel.He's somewhere out there I know ,but when will you send him I really dont know.I wish it cud be sooner god!!

Read this somewhere and thats how I would like to end the post-

" I fall and I pick myself up. I lose hope yet I dream. I’m lost and I find myself again.I cry and I laugh through my tears. I despair yet I BELIEVE"