Adios Singapore!!!

its 3.38 am here and my mind is in a whirlwind of thoughts..last night in singapore..tomm by this time i wud be sitting in delhi..i dunno wat to feel..
these 3 months in singapore werent just a vacation..for me it was a metamorphosis..that gurl who used to cry every night over what fate did to her has gotten transformed into someone whos learnt to stay happy no matter what weird twists life gives here...shes learnt to deal with all the shit thats thrown away at her in an excellent way..shes learnt to smile again..laugh freely...shes realized that she must move on..infact shes already moved on..she no longer keeps thinking about one thing all the time..in fact she hardly even thinks of it..she knows now how to keep those troubled thoughts aside..she knows how its pointless thinking about things which wont change for the better..shes learnt to accept that certain things in her life dint work the way they should have and that somewhere its all for the best..ofcourse its when the best happens then she'll know why fate was it was to her..most of all she believes..her belief in god has become even stronger..she gives a damn to ppl around her ..she lives every moment..she learns new things in life..she experiments ..she creates..she lives life..every moment of it..
wow...talking bout myself in third person is a lil weird! but its true if i should thank someone for totally changing my life,rebuilding it ,its my parents who sent me here..i needed this badly..from the fucked up life that i led there..this was a total change..this was heaven..
and thats why i am so scared about how my life will be when i reach india..coll is long since over..frends busy with their lives..most of all i cant figure out my own naukri scene..i know i could have stayed here longer ..but that would have meant i was escaping things...and i am no escapist..ill face them things strongly..though the one thing i am fearing most is going back to what i used to be before i came here..i dont want to be that gurl god..singapores changed me ..and i want to take those changes with me..i know there was a lot of stuff here that kept me happy..but the question is does a place decides whether ull be happy or not??no right..its you who decide that..and i have decided..m not going back..no way...i cant do that to me..ill do everything i did here..join lawn tennis there..learn salsa...play the guitar..sketch...bake cookies..read novels..watch frends all night...yeah..theres nothing here that cant be done there right..so why do i fear so much??well i have the answer..i am "fearing fear"..its not so much of the fact that i ll go back to being what i was there as much the fear of that happening is whats scaring me..its not the thing..its the fear of something that i am fearing..u noe what..ill leave it to then and there..deal with things as they come..face them strongly...
and most of all i m going back to my parents!!!to hoooooooooomee!!!i have missed my parents..my home..my sweet purple room!!!true a part of my word has totally changed..but a part still remains right..the most basic part..family frends and home...so i dont need to be so scared...
i promise god i am not undoing what singapore did to me!!for that will be the biggest mistake of my life...things happened i know...but everything in the past now...i have learnt to be happy no matter what..i know i can deal with things ..i know things will be ok soon...
so singapore..with that note i guess ill leave..ill miss u !!!ill miss seeing chinkees around me all the time...ill miss my jurong point visits..ill miss waking up to a beautiful view from my 14th floor apartment..ill miss my lawn tennis lessons in the beautiful court in the condo..ill miss this condo..ill miss the freedom of wearing skimpy clothes and roaming around without fearing eve teasing..ill miss my life here so much...
but i also know a new life awaits me back there..and though things have changed but i promise myself i wont let it affect me..i wont loose myself to all my problems..ill be strong god..and i promise i wont loose the new me ever ever.i am not going back to what i was god..u hear that..i am def not!!!the happy me is here to stay forever!!!
ps-this was written yesterday and i thot ill edit and post today but i am just a few hours away from boarding my plane..so ill just let it be and post it.